TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
