I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
