idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You need a sexual gate keeper
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
