I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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