he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize