just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
