got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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