i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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