can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just cropdusted the office
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
