i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
