The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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