I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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