All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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