dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
