it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize