3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
