omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
