Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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