im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
