hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
