I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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