So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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