so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Where is the hickey?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
