6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
