What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
