Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
