He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
