Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
