Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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