Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
