tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
