You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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