You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize