this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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