I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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