TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
