so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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