oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
