Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
