Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
