Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
