Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
