I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
