yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
