Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
