I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to make out with him forever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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