how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I won't apologize to a one balled man
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
