the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize