Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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