i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
