your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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