Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
