Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize