it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
