dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
