Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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