Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
