Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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