just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
