the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
