just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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