I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
