my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have post one night stand depression
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