When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize