some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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