dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
