ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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