Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
