now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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