Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize