Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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